I Am With You: Love Letters to Cancer Patients

Written by and for amazing cancer patients everywhere …

On April 29, 2004, I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer which had metastasized to my liver. My initial naive, almost absurd, response was “Thank goodness that it is not appendicitis!” And then “What is stage 5?”

I was immediately swept away to the whirlwind of Stanford Cancer Center. As is typical in teaching hospitals, I became an ‘interesting’ case study, a subject for teams of doctors, fellows, nurses, and curious bystanders who seemed to parade through my room for hours, their questions probing and relentless, while I started to freak out.

Then, a man who looked a bit like Santa Claus, his eyes holding a gentle warmth, entered my now-chaotic world.

“And who might you be?” I asked, my voice, by now, barely a weary whisper.

He responded simply, “I am your doctor.”

He spoke profound honesty.

Your diagnosis is rather bleak.
And the prognosis is a tough challenge.
I think I can help you.
I am with you.

In that very moment, something shifted within me. The healing, in its truest sense, began.

Those four words. They weren’t just words; they were a lifeline, a promise, hope. A palpable shift occurred in the room filled with my family and bestie friends. Tears welled in their eyes, a collective gasp. We all felt the weight and the hope within that simple declaration.

He looked around at my family and friends,
then back at me,
his gaze steady and kind. 
“When your friends and family go home,
and you are lying awake,
overwhelmed by everything you have heard today,
please call me.
Here is my home phone number.”

And guess what! I did call him … at 2:30 am. He was the same beacon of grace, presence, and kindness he had been earlier. That late-night/ very early-morning call, filled with his unwavering generosity, has stayed with me ever since.

My doctor didn’t just treat my illness; he held my hand and, more importantly, my heart. He gifted me the profound power of trust – in him, in the dedicated medical team, and even in the kindness of the world. He helped me to open myself to the incredible generosity of strangers – my nurses, whom I affectionately called “the angels in my midst” – to the compassionate chemo infusion teams, to the quiet strength of fellow patients, to the love of my friends and family. The hope and kindness he radiated throughout my treatment became my most profound ‘teachers’ about healing, about truly living, and about the deep respect we owe each other as human beings.

Few doctors offer such profound words, and I wish they all would. He said something remarkably insightful: “This is very tough. I am giving you very aggressive treatments. If you are on anti-depressants, double them. If you are not on them, get on them. And find yourself a solid psychologist, preferably someone who has been through cancer.”

As a psychologist myself, his words were a balm to my soul. To be cared for by someone who not only understood but actively encouraged addressing the emotional wounds of cancer felt revolutionary. I was deeply seen, understood, and truly cared for.

When people ask, as they often do, “What happened? How did you make it when others did not?” I have no definitive answers to that mystery. But I know, with absolute certainty, that the opening of my heart – to trust, to hope, to the overwhelming abundance of goodwill that flowed my way – changed my very being. I learned to love fiercely, to trust deeply, and to live with a wild and grateful abandon.

That first night and that life-altering conversation sparked a deep desire within me: to create a beacon of hope for everyone facing a new cancer diagnosis, those moments of overwhelming fear and uncertainty. And so, I Am With You: Love Letters to Cancer Patients was born.

This small but mighty book gathers the voices of more than 40 individuals who truly understood my intention, who grasped the profound meaning behind those four simple words: I Am With You. Within its pages, you will find survivors who have walked this challenging path, caregivers who have offered steady and consistent support, and loved ones whose hearts have been touched by cancer. We share a collective mission:

No one will ever go through cancer alone.

I Am With You is more than just a book. It is a companion for the newly diagnosed, a source of strength for those in treatment, a testament to resilience for those in remission, and a wellspring of understanding for those who love and care for them. It is a collection of real stories, filled with heartfelt wisdom, constant hope, and the deep connection that comes from shared experience.

One survivor told me
that she carries her copy of IAWY with her
all the time.
It gives me courage when I feel weepy.

My doctor understood the profound impact of offering support in the darkest hours – that middle-of-the-night phone call was a lifeline. My commitment is also to encourage hope in the darkest hours. I want to get this sweet book into the hands of those who might feel like they are ‘flipping out’ … those who need to know that they are not alone.

Here’s how we can make this happen, together:

• Friends gifting copies to friends: A tangible expression of care and togetherness.
• Cancer hospitals including the book in new patient binders, bedside tables, infusion rooms, radiation centers, anxiety-provoking waiting rooms, and patients’ discharge packets: Ensuring immediate access to comfort and support.
• Books placed in hospital gift shops and libraries: Making it easily available to patients and their loved ones.
• Oncologists, integrative practitioners, and healing centers giving the book to their patients: Integrating emotional support into the treatment journey.
• Social workers, financial advisors, and patient navigators offering it during appointments: Providing holistic care that addresses emotional well-being.
• Group facilitators sharing it in support groups: Fostering connection and shared understanding.
• Donations to hospitals and cancer centers in honor of those who have recovered or in loving memory of those we have lost: Creating a legacy of hope and support.
• Distributing at conferences, retreats, and fundraising events: Expanding our reach and impact.

I need your help to make this vision a reality.
I am actively seeking partners – hospitals, oncology teams, foundations, healing centers, and individuals – who share my fundamental belief that no one should ever navigate the cancer journey alone.

I need introductions to those who can help share the book, connect me with potential partners, and identify funding opportunities so we can donate copies to patient support centers and healing spaces around the world. I also need volunteers who are passionate about helping this project grow and touch more lives.

Together, we can offer a beacon of hope precisely when it is needed most.

How to get the book and join this mission:
The book is readily available on Amazon. I can personally send you a signed copy for $20. Please send a check payable to Nancy’s List, along with your shipping address, to:

Nancy Novack PhD
6701 Rialto Boulevard #6102
Austin, Texas 78735

For those interested in placing a larger order (20+ books), I can offer a discounted price. Please email me [email protected] for more details.

You can also contribute directly through PayPal, Debit or Credit Card.

If you wish for me to send the book(s) as a gift or donation to an individual or a specific healing center, hospital, or oncologist, please include that information.

 

And now, turning to my personal reflections … 

I Am With You is, in essence, my heartfelt love letter to the universe, an expression of immense gratitude for the miraculous and mysterious journey of my recovery. And it is each author’s own love letter to all the incredible individuals facing cancer, everywhere. Our book strives to offer that profound sense of connection and deep and sustaining support that my oncologist so generously offered me on the very night of my diagnosis.

Those four simple words, I Am With You, have become the four most cherished words in my world. They sustain me, they fuel my hope, and they continue to transform my understanding of the profound power of the healing process.

Within the pages of I Am With You, you will find more than 40 unique messages of unwavering support, profound inspiration, and enduring hope. We “encourage courage” to nurture the will to live fully, even amidst the challenges. We share a deep knowing, born from our own diverse experiences. And we offer connection, wisdom, and heartfelt compassion, as well as pragmatic and tangible ways to cope with the seismic shift that a cancer diagnosis brings. Every story within this anthology speaks to the transformative power of those simple, exquisite words.