Kelly Inselmann LCSW, C-IAYT, CGP, Cancer Survivor, Psychotherapist, Yoga Therapist

The Beast of the Unknown

There is discomfort which does not have a clear solution. Prolonged stress or pain that cannot be mastered can be traumatic.

As a cancer patient or survivor, you have likely confronted this situation. And as a person facing uncertainty in modern society, you may also feel overwhelmed by the unknown.

I know I am! As we prepare for my daughter’s senior year, there are many questions about what the future looks like. My husband continues to be a source of love and comfort and is stable within his diagnosis, but he still is scanned every 3 months. And every 3 months, we again face the unknown.

I wonder about my own role as a psychotherapist and yoga/meditation teacher. Should I continue? Are there people who will benefit or is that part of my life over? Post-pandemic and in private practice, it has been hard to know how to share what I have learned in my many personal experiences of cancer and from the hundreds of survivors I have known.

It is uncomfortable to not know so many things! And yet, if you live long enough, it is the existential question you get to face. How do I move forward into the unknown?

Facing the great unknown is basically THE existential task that humanity and each unique individual has grappled with from the time of cave men and women drawing what their lives were like: their animals, favorite moments, experience of the divine.

To find meaning in life requires first, the acknowledgment of the great unknown. But it can be scary. It can be uncomfortable.

But … What if there are profound psychological, physiological, and spiritual benefits to befriending your discomfort?

You may temporarily find strategies to avoid discomfort. Focusing on gratitude, healthy habits, and practices are wonderful ways to adapt and give you strength and perspective.

The “negative” feelings and experiences are also an important part of your life’s story. They are calling out to be understood and honored as well. And simply pushing them away does not eliminate them.

When there is a metaphorical beast in the room, you don’t want to deny its presence. When it grabs hold of you, turning to face it is sometimes the only option. The great psychologist Carl Jung said “What you resist, will not only persist but will grow in size.” It must be contended with directly. It is risky. It takes courage. Sometimes it takes complete surrender to the experience.

In order to get to the medicine, you may have to turn toward the beast (discomfort/pain), be with it, make space for it to co-exist with the rest of you, hear what it is saying, and invite it in.

It is so hard and scary to be on the edge of the unknown, especially if you do not yet know the trajectory of your healing. Will you really survive?

It can be hard to have faith when you are in the metaphorical darkness, wilderness, forest, or desert.

Your worldview has been shattered and what you thought you understood and could count on how been broken. Now you are faced with accepting what is real in this moment without knowing what comes next.

What are the unknowns you find yourself facing? I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings and wisdom on facing the great unknowns …

To gain groundedness and perspective, come into the present moment. Notice what is happening in your body and mind. Use the 3Ms: Movement, Mindful Awareness, and Meditation. Build your energy with me in this yoga practice that I used every day for years as I was regaining strength after cancer treatment. Free for paid subscribers. Support the JoyBoots community!…

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