Most people will experience loss at some point in their lives. Grief is a reaction to any form of loss. Bereavement is a type of grief involving the death of a loved one.
Bereavement and grief encompass a range of feelings from deep sadness to anger. The process of adapting to a significant loss can vary dramatically from one person to another. It often depends on a person’s background, beliefs, and relationship to what was lost.
Grief is not limited to feelings of sadness. It can also involve guilt, yearning, anger, and regret. Emotions are often surprising in their strength or mildness. They can also be confusing. One person may find themselves grieving a painful relationship. Another may mourn a loved one who died from cancer and yet feel relief that the person is no longer suffering.
People in grief can bounce between different thoughts as they make sense of their loss. Thoughts can range from soothing (“She had a good life.”) to troubling (“It wasn’t her time.”). People may assign themselves varying levels of responsibility, from “There was nothing I could have done,” to “It’s all my fault.”
Grieving behaviors also have a wide range. Some people find comfort in sharing their feelings among company. Other people may prefer to be alone with their feelings, engaging in silent activities like exercising or writing.
The different feelings, thoughts, and behaviors people express during grief can be categorized into two main styles: instrumental and intuitive. Most people display a blend of these two styles of grieving:
- Instrumental grieving has a focus primarily on problem-solving tasks. This style involves controlling or minimizing emotional expression.
- Intuitive grieving is based on a heightened emotional experience. This style involves sharing feelings, exploring the lost relationship, and considering mortality.
No one way of grieving is better than any other. Some people are more emotional and dive into their feelings. Others are stoic and may seek distraction from dwelling on an unchangeable fact of living. Every individual has unique needs when coping with loss.
Grief can vary between individuals. However, there are still global trends in how people cope with loss. Psychologists and researchers have outlined various models of grief. Some of the most familiar models include the five stages of grief, the four tasks of mourning, and the dual process model.
Five Stages of Grief
In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five linear stages of grief:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Kubler-Ross originally developed this model to illustrate the process of bereavement. Yet she eventually adapted the model to account for any type of grief. Kubler-Ross noted that everyone experiences at least two of the five stages of grief. She acknowledged that some people may revisit certain stages over many years or throughout life.
Four Tasks of Mourning
Psychologist J. W. Worden also created a stage-based model for coping with the death of a loved one. He divided the bereavement process into four tasks:
- To accept the reality of the loss
- To work through the pain of grief
- To adjust to life without the deceased
- To maintain a connection to the deceased while moving on with life
What is Degriefing®?
It’s Integrative Grief Therapy!
“Grief is the most available, untapped, emotional resource for personal transformation“.
That is the main premise of Degriefing or Integrative Grief Therapy. Grief is the body’s response to loss … any loss. Grief creates a state of physical and mental disharmony. The body and the mind are inextricably linked.
Fresh loss stimulates the feelings of previous unresolved grief. Loss is a common experience that every person encounters during his or her lifetime. A grieving person often undergoes both subtle and significant changes impacting physical, emotional, mental and spiritual states and can significantly exacerbate one’s preexisting conditions.
Symptoms of distress can be part of simple or complex, fresh or unresolved grief. A variety of somatic complaints may be experienced: fatigue, insomnia, dream disturbances, pain, gastrointestinal symptoms, chest pressure, palpitations, stomach pains, headaches, backaches, panic attacks, increased anxiety or depression amongst others.
Health care approaches that attempt to alleviate or transform the effects of the grief include both physical and mental treatment methods. Combining both conventional treatments and integrative therapies creates a new paradigm of healing: mind, body, spirit unity or homeostasis. Somatic treatments such as Yoga, massage, expressive arts, singing, chanting, praying, writing, photography, aromatherapy, and supportive verbal interaction normalize the effect that grief has on the entire system … the body, mind, spirit.
Grief-related problems are often unrecognized and remain unaddressed by today’s quick-fix health care system. Trained Degriefing counselors offer compassionate attention, tools for emotional regulation, meaningful verbal communication, embodied personal presence needed to assist grieving clients in an efficient, intuitive and instrumental way.
Degriefing provides information, skills, and resources to better inform and understand the nature of grief and support individuals or groups following loss. Counseling, mentoring and certification “Course of Study” are available for professionals and for those experiencing the pain of loss.
Degriefing® Premises
Grief is the most available, untapped, emotional resource for personal transformation. Degriefing promotes integration: the wisdom of the body with intelligence of the mind. Grief is not as complicated as we make it and not as simple as we would like it. Grief is cumulative: fresh loss re-stimulates the grief of unresolved losses. Degriefing practices ‘intention’ rather than ‘trying to accomplish’. We don’t get over our losses. We change our relationship to them.
We all have feelings. We experience them as emotions.
We can choose to express or repress our emotions.
Tears lubricate the muscles that hold grief so tightly.
Degriefing focuses on allowing, rather than forcing.
Grief is the body/mind response to loss … any loss.
Emotion is the affective aspect of consciousness.
The mind has a body and the body has a mind.
Above all, grieving people need to be heard.
In times of grief, our mind is not our friend.
The body is the barometer of our truth.
Grief is as universal as the smile.
Degriefing encourages observation rather than worry.
Grief, like traffic, is part of the human condition.
Source:
Dr. Lyn Prashant, FT. IGT.
Integrative Grief Therapy
Bereavement Counseling
San Francisco, California
www.degriefing.com
USA. +1.415.457.2272
Call/text +1.415.972.9591
Mex.Cell +52-415-167-4774
[email protected]
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